What's In The Elephant's Trunk?

(Ok, only three of us will even get that title.)

Found this in a cookbook in a section entitled "This and That".

Elephant Stew

1 elephant
brown gravy
salt and pepper to taste
2 rabbits

Cut elephant into bite sized pieces. This will take about 4 months. Cook over kerosene at 525 degrees until tender (about 5 months). Add salt and pepper and cover with brown gravy. This will serve 3,800 people. If more are expected, add 2 rabbits. Do this if only absolutely necessary as most people do not like to find hare in their stew.

Pop Quiz

You come into the bathroom and you notice there's a bug on your toothbrush.

What do you do?

Packing Time!

All these years girls have been looking for boys who learn x number of years. A boy with a good job.

But here's the truth. You want to marry a guy with a short last name. So when it comes time to label stuff for camp, you won't wonder why you married a guy with a crazy long name!

Packing Time

So, time to start thinking about what you send to camp with a 13 year old boy.

Lots of t-shirts. Scratch that. The three or four he likes. He won't wear the rest. Will just wear these over and over again. Washing in between is a waste of time. Just gonna get dirty again.

Sneakers. Crocs. Shabbos Shoes.

Linen? One sheet, one pillowcase, one towel. What, you think he's gonna change his linen? Blanket, pillow.

Underwear? Socks? 3 or 4 of each should be more than enough. You only change those things when you shower. Tzitzis? He'll be wearing a pair. Who needs more?

Suit, hat, white shirts. LOTS of ties. Bathing suit.

LOTS of junk food.

Phone card to call home? Why bother? He won't. Raincoat? Who are we kidding?

When I asked him what I should send less of this year than last, he said "postcards that I have to write."

Check It Out!

Ok,you can't order anything from this website. And it's not even in English. But it is very, very cool. Let it load and then give it a minute.

Click here

Uh Oh...

Y3K will be directing traffic in camp tomorrow.

Do we really think this is a good idea?

Aren't there better ways to utilize her unique talents?

Shouldn't she be at the gate saying "Hiiiii!!!!!! Welcome to Camp Sternberg!!"?

I HATE Digital TV!

So digital TV was supposed to be better, right?

Wrong!!

Before digital TV, I got lots of stations. Now, I have to keep readjusting my antenna and running a scan over and over again. On a good day, I get channel 5 and channel 9. Until they freeze up on me and I have to start all over again.

And sometimes if I'm lucky? I get a traffic camera in Times Square. And if I'm really lucky? A ramp on the Brooklyn Bridge.

That's progress, huh?

Wasted on the Young

Well, it took me long enough to get to this point in time.

But I want to go to camp. I want to have someone else plan activities and meals. I want to go swimming, boating and do arts and crafts. I want to hide from the head counselors when I don't feel like going to activities. Be in the major play. Yeah, am even willing to deal with color war.

Hail to the Chief?

Now available for only $19.99 at chiaobama.com. The Obama Chia pet, in either a happy and determined pose. Here is the official word from the manufacturer:

In honoring our 44th US President, the Chia Pet company presents this Special Edition Chia Obama.

On the side of the Chia Obama planter are his famous words:

'"YES WE CAN."

Can you grow one?

YES YOU CAN.

Easy to do..... Fun to Grow. Full growth in 1-2 weeks

Contains:

* Chia Obama handmade planter
* Chia Seed packet for 3 plantings
* Convenient Drip Tray
* Planting and care instruction sheet