Monday, November 24, 2008

Life of Riley

And what a life he has. Riley is my great nephew. But I'm not a great great aunt. I won't even let him into my house. When my niece and nephew come, I tell them they have to leave the baby home. I can't tell you that Riley isn't quite cute, despite the fact that he goes around licking people's shoes. What do you expect? He's only a few months old. He's also a dog.

Why exactly do people get dogs? Yeah, I know, they love you unconditionally. But they jump on you, they bark, and they have those creepy black lips. You have to walk them all the time, no matter how cold it is ouside. And then you have to clean up after them. Can't someone find a way to toilet train dogs?

Dogs are like two year olds that will never, ever turn into responsible, productive members of society. While two year olds are cute, there's a reason for the phrase "terrible two's". They can be the most exasperating creatures on the face of this earth and the only way to survive that year is to remember that it's temporary. At least it is with humans. Dogs are two forever. And no matter how often you bathe them, they will still always smell like dog.

Sorry, Riley. We love you, but you still can't come in.

16 comments:

pinnyk said...

they had 2 replace the void left by you know who so they decided to upgrade 2 a better model

pinnyf said...

hes so much cuter then you know who and takes up a lot less room

pinnyk said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

maskim! (to aunt sandy)

Who Me? said...

Sorry, pinnyk, you've been deleted. Gotta keep the language squeaky clean.

Boy, didn't think was going to turn into a post about that subject. Not planning to blog on that EVER! Could be one day I'll get readers that aren't related to me.

Anyone just have any comments on real dogs??

pinnyk said...

woof

Who Me? said...

Good pinnyk, good!

Leslie Dratler said...

Sorry, I've got three cats and three teenagers. At least the cats clean up after themselves and more-or-less confine their messes to their designated litter boxes. No way the wife would allow a dog in the house. I'm lucky she lets me sleep in doors. :)

aliza said...

I'm not a relative :) but nothing pinchas can say will scare me. I've lived in the neighborhood since I'm four

and you sound like my aunts who swear they will not step foot in our house if we get a dog (so, naturally, my brothers are dying for a dog) but they will use our pool of course.

that's family for you

pinnyk said...

yea i guess youve heard all there is to hear already true or not :)...riley is a cute dog...unfortunately due to precarious politics i cant rewrite my post even in a clean way

aliza said...

true or not...emphasis on not :P

pinnyk said...

i agree. emphasis on not :-).dw ur non missing much new hempstead is boring like that as u may have noticed

Anonymous said...

i think she who must not be named would make a very nice pitbull.

Anonymous said...

Only one who shares y3k's love of dogs can appreciate his/her comment - someone like me.

Thumbs up, little brother/sister/whatever!

pinnyf said...

thats not nice to insult riley by comparing her to a dog

Anonymous said...

I'll take nachas wherever and from whoever I can!